My wife and her friend Li-hua and I made up a triangle that went from isosceles to scalene until we found the right angle.
My wife was in the kitchen cooking. Li-hua and I were alone in the living room. Now I was free to have a good look at her. She was the mother of four and older than Pei-lan, my wife. Nevertheless, her rosy cheeks, delicate skin, and slender figure combined to make her seem more youthful than Pei-lan. She had an irresponsible husband but never complained. She was optimistic and agreeable.
I didn't pay much attention to Li-hua when she first came to our home. But my interest grew when I found that she was a writer and that we had much in common. I started to lose sleep as a result of her frequent visits.
One morning while Pei-lan was out, Li-hua came over. I was nervous and excited. She tried to leave when I told her Pei-lan was gone. I asked her to wait. She agreed and said she would like to see the baby. I followed her to the baby's room and grabbed her from behind. She tried to wriggle out of my embrace but finally turned into my arms. I kissed her hard. When I relaxed my grip, she looked into my eyes and then walked away.
After that, Li-hua stopped coming to our house for a couple of weeks. Pei-lan phoned her several times. Li-hua said she couldn't come because her daughter was sick. When Pei-lan went to visit, Li-hua said her daughter was better. She came to our house the next evening. She tried not to show her uneasiness while Pei-lan was present. But when Pei-lan went out of the room, she was nervous and her eyes were afire.
From that night, Pei-lan seemed to have noticed something. She was less friendly to Li-hua. I was in a dilemma.
I'm Li-hua. I'm not so charming nor so capable as Yu-chi has thought. Nevertheless, I think I have achieved some measure of understanding and affection with Yu-chi.
He is well-educated. In their married life of nearly 10 years, Yu-chi has helped his wife to grow.
Pei-lan is a good housewife. Perhaps she has been too preoccupied with her children and has neglected her husband. She's a good listener and doesn't argue with Yu-chi. Maybe that's why he was dissatisfied.
I'm an opinionated woman. When I think I am right, I won't give in to anybody. Maybe this is what made Yu-chi feel that I was more capable than his wife. An endless argument deepened our understanding. Finally, we came to love and respect each other.
I love him but don't want to possess him. I've told him many times, "Let's be platonic!" Our friendship should not harm his family life. However, man's desire for possession is stronger than woman's He thinks that I shouldn't be possessed by such a good-for nothing as my husband. I felt very uneasy when Pei-lan became aware of our secret love. I shouldn't love Yu-chi. But I couldn't resist him. I was sick of my husband.
I'm Pei-lan, the unfortunate victim of this triangular love. I consider myself a good housewife. I've never imagined that my husband could be unfaithful to me. I'm shocked that my rival is Li-hua, my good friend.
Li-hua is a good woman. Unfortunately, she married the wrong man.
She is many-sided. She can write, paint, and sing. She is interested in medicine, science, and politics. She has been a good antagonist for Yu-chi. She seems born to rule and would never yield unless Yu-chi could give her a better answer.
Compared with Li-hua, I'm clumsy. We are both high school graduates. But I can only cook a few dishes, take care of children, and keep the house. I know I'm no match for Yu-chi in learning.
Now all my efforts are in vain. They do not seem to have gone too far. But I'm afraid my family will be ruined.
I was jealous when I saw their interest in each other. But I didn't know enough to compete with her. Sometimes they were serious. At other times they were laughing together. Occasionally I thought of quarreling with them. But I refrained.
Now I don't know what to do. My hope is that my husband will think of his family and not talk any more nonsense with Li-hua.
The three of us sat in our living room. Pei-lan was knitting a sweater for me. Li-hua was holding her daughter on her knees. When we were talking of Western songs, I found that Li-hua and I were fans of Patty Page and Frank Sinatra.
I turned off the TV and put on a Patty Page record. Li-hua hummed the tune. I subconsciously moved my lips in accompaniment. We are intoxicated with the music and neglected Pei-lan. Irritated, Pei-lan pinched the cheek of Li-hua's daughter. We were startled by the child's cry but nobody said a word. Li-hua held her daughter tightly in her arms and soothed her.
I don't know why I should have pinched Li-hua's daughter. Maybe I was too jealous. In my heart, I thought I was pinching Li-hua's soul.
"Your daughter seems to have lost weight these days," I said.
"Yes," Li-hua nodded. "She has a strange sickness."
"What's her trouble?" I pretended to be concerned.
"I don't know," Li-hua answered. "She has no appetite and is sleepy all day long. But she has neither cough nor runny nose. Her temperature is normal."
"Did she eat anything wrong?"
She shook her head. "Her bowels are normal, too."
"Maybe she ate too much and doesn't want to eat any more," I said.
"Yes, maybe you're right," Li-hua agreed. "I was very anxious about her yesterday. I felt as if I was losing my heart."
Yu-chi spoke up jokingly, "Why didn't I pick up your broken heart? I took a long walk on the street yesterday."
"You didn't because you forgot to wear glasses," Li-hua responded.
They burst into loud laughter. So I told them a story.
"Once upon a time, there was a good wife and a wayward husband. They had a quarrel about his mistress. She asked him if he had moral sense.
" 'I have lost my moral sense,' the husband replied. 'Now I'm seeking a new one.' "
Both of them laughed. But I was sure Li-hua knew what I meant.
I knew what Pei-lan meant, all right. As a matter of fact, her irony was not necessary. I had always made it clear that I had no intention of hijacking Yu-chi. I only wanted a spiritual friendship with him and had never gone against my conscience. But if she continued to demean me, I couldn't say what I might do. I was sure I could make Yu-chi my prisoner whenever I chose. I had not done so because I didn't want to betray my husband. So long as I was faithful to my husband, why should I be worried about Pei-lan's banter?
Last Sunday afternoon, Pei-lan and I went to the railroad station to see Li-hua off. We didn't say a word on our way home. When we reached the house, she ran into the bedroom and sobbed her heart out. When I entered the room, she looked at me for a long time and then asked, "Is everything over now?"
I nodded.
Li-hua and her family moved to Kaohsiung. Her husband found a good job at the export processing zone. Before they left, I tried to persuade Li-hua to stay in Taipei. She refused. She said she had decided to go south for my sake and hers.
Well, maybe she's right. I hope so. And so does Pei-lan.
(Translated and adapted by Hilary Lew)